Reminicsing.....

     Its not near time. We have more than a month. It's not time to look through a few small pictures. Time to look at tiny dresses never worn. Time to reread a journal. Time to cry. It's not quite time to think about what could have been.  Not quite time to visit a small, cold, lonely place where a small, pink granite, heart-shaped stone stands as an altar to a journey with the Lord. It's not December 15. But today I found myself, quite unexpectedly, looking in this little box of treasures that remind me of a bitter sweet time in my life. Eight years ago now. A dark time in my lifes' journey that somehow was lit with the Light of the Lord. Somehow in those heart wrenching days, I grew with the Lord. I learned new things. As my tiny, precious, baby girl grew in my womb, I knew she was destined to be with the Lord. Doctors told us that she couldn't breathe a breath of life here. That her tiny body hadn't developed correctly. There was nothing they could do. He called it anencephaly. A new word to me, then. A word that stands for death. Silence. Hopelessness. But, somehow in those 9 weeks following that awful diagnosis, His Light shown right down in front of me. Lighting enough path for me to make a step. A step into the abyss of grief, anguish, anger, and depression. Or a step of faith toward Him. So, I chose to grab His hand. And then as days passed, I grabbed His neck for a comforting hug. Some days I was so weak I could just grab His ankle as He continued walking. There were so many days that I just couldn't walk anymore. Then He cradled me in His powerful, gentle, Abba Father, Daddy arms. Carried me through the days I just couldn't take it. Couldn't handle the thoughts. Couldn't have anymore faith. He waltzed over and picked me up before I fell down in despair. And that is Our God. That was how I could see light in those dark days.
    I had nine weeks after that dreadful day, to have my baby girl I had wanted and prayed for  for so long. I had three beautiful boys. But I wanted a baby girl. Alaina Joy, her name means joyous light, would only be with us as long as my body carried her. On Dec 15, she was suddenly born, 13 weeks early. A tiny, beautiful, soft, still baby girl. There was no crying. There were no cheers to welcome her. There were no balloons, door wreaths, or cigars. Only her family, and some nurses. Only hot sad tears. Only sniffles and disbelief.
    They handed me the tiniest blanketed baby I have ever seen. Only 1.7 lbs. I tried to memorize everything I could about her. Her soft cheeks. Her tinier than life hand, that couldn't even wrap around my finger tip! I measured her slender foot against my pinkie, so in the future it would help me remember just how tiny she really was. Then the boys came in. They held their tiny sister and said their good byes. It was a sweet precious time.
     How, do you say, could this be a sweet time? How could any good come out of such immense grief? Well, my friend, it would take too many posts to tell you everything God has done. But I do know, I grew in my walk more than ever. I learned our God is faithful. He will take care of you. He will be there in the hard times. He will.
      It wasn't easy. It still hurts. The hole in my heart is forever, until I walk into Heaven one day. OH, then I will step through the gate. And I will see her.  A beautiful woman, who never tasted the cares of this world. Never tasted sin. Who was welcomed into the Fathers open arms the day her tiny heart beat it's last in my womb.  And I know that it won't even compare to seeing Jesus' face!
     Today I thought about the past. and it still hurts us. There was no exciting baby shower, gifts, or balloons, to announce her birth here on earth. But I know all of Heavens angels rejoiced when she arrived safely into that City. And how can it get any better than that??
     Today, we have a gorgeous baby girl. She will be 3 soon. In Alaina Joy's box was a little baby doll. Gracelyn-Joy saw it today, while I was going through the box. She just had to have it. I explained to her that it was her siters' baby. Faith. She has held her gingerly all day. And has been so proud to have it. So I leave you with a picture. Of past and present. And the lesson learned that He never leaves us or forsakes us, even when it is so dark, you can't see anywhere. Just hold His hand.

Birthday Party Time!!!

Well, we had another birthday party. Nathan turned 12 years old on Oct. 25th. I can't believe my second son is already 12. Time has flown so quickly. Just the other day I gave birth to a shocking 9 lb baby boy!!! He is a blessing. He loves to be crazy, he is very compassionate, and loves all animals. Even the spider I want to smash before it crawls on me. He loves to help me cook, and has so many fun hobbies. He is a blessing, and we are thankful for him. I pray he will always have a tender heart, especially toward God.
So what did the birthday boy want to eat for supper, and what kind of cake did he want? He ordered up cheeseburger soup, garlic bread, and of all things....a TOILET CAKE! So, being the wonderful mom that I am, I served it up!

He wanted cookie dough. So I molded the toilet with dough, then  covered it with yummy marshmallow fondant.  A very easy to make good tasting fondant.

 

Heres the crew. Didn't have to call them twice!!
After the party he got a few gifts, then we popped pop corn and listened to our team, the Ole Miss Rebels, get beat by LSU. It was crushing! there went our undefeated season. Oh, well.

Happy Birthday, Nate!!!!!

Furniture makeover

Its finally done. My biggest furniture redo to date. I picked up this wardrobe off craigslist. I thought it was all real wood, but it wasn't. And on further inspection at home, it wasn't in that great of shape. But with some TLC, it has come to life. Let me tell you what I did.

Here is the old piece of junk. Bless its heart. It just needs some love. I had in mind a cute wardrobe for the baby. My little Princess' clothes took up the whole closet and most of the 5-drawer chest. ummm....you know little girls have to have  alot of stuff! Socks, panties, bloomers, tights, shirts, slips, etc. There has to be a shirt and sock to match everything, right? Especially since she is the only girl with all these boys!! Anyways, back to the wardrobe.
It would give him storage and his own little closet.

So I decided, even though I was going to use chalk paint, I wanted to go ahead and prime it. So I did.

 

While that was drying, it was time to come up with a color scheme that would be fun, cute, and work for a boy/girl room. So when I went to the craft store, this is the color pack that hit me!! I knew I wanted to try the mod podge craze, so I bought this paper pack. While I was perusing the aisles, I came across a faux canvas painting with this same motif and colors That says Jesus Loves Me! (half off, too!)
Now its time to mod podge. I looked up a DIY recipe. But with mixed reviews, I went ahead and got the real deal for this project.

I painted the drawers with DIY chalk paint after I primed them. The color is "snow shadow".

I put on a thin coat of podge and placed my roughly-cut-to-size paper onto the front of drawer. I worked the bubbles out with my library card (is that legal???) and kept a watch for it trying to bubble up. That stuff sets up fast, and I mean FAST! There is not much repositioning it.

Then I used a method I read from another blog to get the edges cut to size. I took a sanding block, the kind that is on a kind of spongy brick, and sanded the paper all around the edges. You can see the white line on this pic where I sanded it down. Then I carefully tore the paper downward. Left a nice clean edge, and sort of distressed it for me. After that I put a thin layer of podge all over the top to seal it, and around the edges.  It was an awesome idea! and those sanding blocks are mega awesome! After I did all the drawers, I went on to the hideous mirrored doors.

What on earth do you do with that kind of huge mirror? Well, if you are me, you PAINT IT. So that's what I did. Then I put podge on the mirrored part, and put down some cute coordinating paper onto it.
Putting the hinges back on was a major pain. Had a few probs getting doors to shut. Had to do a little sanding. But, hey, that's chocolates for you. A surprise in every bite! The old drawer pulls with a new coat of paint, and poof! Looks fab. Drum roll............................

Ta da! The finished product.. What an adorably cute wardrobe for an even cuter little boy! I think it turned out pretty well, considering what I started with. It wasn't very hard, either. So go find some old out dated piece of furniture and get to making a new piece to be proud of!! I'm already on the hunt for another project!!

Best gift for your children.....

I love the AboveRubies magazine. I'vebeen reading it since i was a teen. Yes, that is a little longer than I'd like to think. Anyway, I always look forward to the newest issue. It is all about Godly family life, children, homeschooling, eatinghealthier, etc. i can' t rememberwhen, but I read these words that ch aged the way I thought about a big family a woman said, "The best gift you can give your child is new baby."
Well, I'm here to tell you I have found that to be true.
Eachtime we find thatmy womb has been blessed with new life, and tell our other children, it has always been received with smiles, yippees, and excited voices with questions like when? Boy or girl?? Not a single time has anyof the children been sad or disappointed on the exciting news.
Our newest cherubis five months old. My oldest son said several weeks ago that it would be very sad if we didn't have anymore!
So today, i took this picture. It was so sweet. It happens all the time and it is a reminder to me, and a good visual for you.... The best gift I've ever given any of my children is a new baby.  And I love it!!

Fall is in the air....

Fall is here. At last. The summer heat and humidity are in our memories. Now the mornings and evenings are cooler, and the breeze is nippy. Truthfully, my mind is going straight to my favorite season...Christmas! But, I am trying to enjoy each day. So I will spare you all my Christmas musings, and share our first fall celebration.
Some friends in our church invited us to their little sort of annual hayride. We met up at their house, all the kids and one dog in tow, and headed out to their catfish pond. Jack, the 4 year old curly top, had been waniting to fish for a long while now. So, he loaded his hook with hot dog and got help casting the line. It wasn't long before he proudly hauled in a catfish. His blueberry eyes lit up with joy only a child can posess. he was very proud. He eventually hauled in 7 more!!

Here  is Jack with the pond owner, Stevie. So sweet!

 Here is Reece, Andrew, and hubby, Lee helping get the big ones in!

This is my oldest son, Caleb, reeling in his first. Not exactly a whopper, but it was fun!

Here is the Princess. She caught the biggest fish. She was happy. Bless her heart, she was the only little girl. But she is used to that, right??


After fishing, we loaded up in the hay and rode up to their little cabin for a weeny roast. It was lots of fun. All the boys there played football, went on a narure walk(they found a snake!) It was so nice out. We ate til we were stuffed. About sunset we started back to the house. It was  a very fun, pleasant way to spend a fall evening! Thanks Patsy, Stevie, and Sidra!

 awww, there's me with our newest little one, Brennen.

Sitting around the camp eating and visiting.
We gotta do this AGAIN!!!

baby gifts

Here's a fun little project I worked on for a baby gift. They are sweet little burpclothes.  It's amazing what you can come up with in a moment, using things you already have. Such a great thing in times like these, when extra money goes to gasoline and groceries!

are you a squeezer?

A few years ago, a good preacher friend of ours, Bro. Dana Williams, from Alabama, was at a Bible conference. We went to it one of the days. He preached a sermon I will never forget. I hope he won't mind me sharing the jest of it here. I have had it on my mind, so I will share my thoughts.
       He preached on what kind of hands we have. There are lots of hands we can have in  our life. But the one that has been on my heart since that time two years ago is the squeezing hands. Do we have squeezing hands? Jacob, in the Bible, was born a squeezer. He was squeezing his brothers heel as they were born from the womb! As he grew, he tried to control the family birthright by taking advantage of his brothers hunger. Jacob and his mother grabbed onto the family blessing and forced himself into that role by tricking his dying father. And then one day, an angel came and wrestled with Jacob. They wrestled all night long in fact. Jacobs squeezing hands couldn't let go of the Lords angel. Finally the angel said to let him go. Jacobs squeezing hands held a little longer. Then at that moment Jacobs life changed. The Lord charged him to become a different man. To leave his squeezing hands behind and let God lead for once. God even changed his name to Israel because the moment was monumental. No more do you read of a trickster and schemer. The squeezing hands were relaxed into faithful hands. Israel no longer lived for self. He gave His life to the all powerful hands.
So my thoughts go to this every now and then. Am I a squeezer? Do I push for my way no matter what? When I want something, do I push for it no matter how many obstacles are in my way? Ignoring that still small voice,  and blindly bashing forward into things, without ever consulting the Lord? Do I decide in my heart the way something will go and squeeze until I get it right, just to see it crumble?
I pray that I won't have squeezing hands. May the Lord help me to have open hands, waiting for His Word. Waiting on Him to guide and work things out. Waiting to hear when I should proceed, and when I should wait. May God teach us to wait on Him. May He teach us not to try to control all situations.
Recently, with our women's conference at church, God taught me a great lesson. Not to be a squeezer. But to listen to Him, and realize that when I obey Him, it isn't for me to control everything. I am just to do what He told me to do, and then let Him work. It was so freeing to relax my hands and allow God to control the conference. He worked mightily. When disruption or disappointment came, there was no need for me to get upset. Because it was His thing, and He could have it however He wanted it. It wasn't for me to control. And guess what! The Lord was honored mightily. Praise the Lord! Heis so good to us.
So the next time something comes up that you want to "squeeze", relax and let God show you a better way. Let me know how it works out!!!

Meeting

Hello! Thanks for stopping by. Honestly I have no idea what I am doing. I've never had a blog. But with my interenet surfing I am always seeing these awesome blogs by moms just like me. They are often full of great ideas in areas of interest to me. SO, I thought with my life, why not blog the happenings?
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know from day to day, year to year, moment to moment what will be in the chocolate. Happenings in our lives are covered. Only God knows what is on the inside. But He desires us to be willing to "take a bite" and see. To always follow His leading. So, with this in mind, I want to share part of our lives with you. The funny things kids say, the crazy stunts animals pull, my newest sewing project, or salvaged piece of furniture. My hopes are that as you read, you may laugh, cry, get inspried, and above all get encouraged. Because being a mom is the hardest job in the world. We all need support and encouragement. So, here's to my very first post! and to all my new friends.